I just had the best idea for a beer festival! You know how it usually goes, right, the brewers get (okay, buy) tables, and set up their kegs and pint glasses and such, and then we buy tickets and wander around from table to table, drinking beers, which is pretty sweet, really, except there's always some dipshit who didn't read the damned memo and when they get their beer they just keep standing there in front of the table gassing with their buddies about what boring crap they've been doing in their boring stupid lives when they should be getting the hell out of the way so we can get beers, and there's a line for the bathroom, and the brewer runs out of the super-great beer just before you get there, and the hot chicks behind the table don't like you (don't like you, I mean, I don't ever have that problem because I'm old and harmless), and the band's too loud, but otherwise...it's pretty sweet, right?
But wait, but wait, but wait -- here's my great idea! Instead of tickets, WE buy a table! And we get comfy there, and we could decorate it, and bring our own chairs, and a sound system so we don't have to listen to the damned stupid band, and food we want to eat instead of more hot dogs, and have a quick getaway to the bathroom out the back, and lots of fun party stuff -- and here's the cool part -- and the brewers (or hot chicks they hire (okay, or hot-bod guys, too, for you cool womens who like good beer)) wander around and bring us beers!
They could have their kegs on like a hot-dog cart, only it would be a cold-beer cart, and they'd say, hey, man, want some of my excellent beers, and we'd say, dude, whatta you have there? and they'd say, Double IPA and Imperial Barleywine, bitch! and we'd say, yeah, fill 'er up! And then they'd fill us up and get away from the front of our damn table because brewers always read the damned memo and we'd flip our Brazilian steakhouse disk-thing to 'Full right now, come back a little later, brewer' and drink our beers and chill and love it, and eat steaks and crabcakes and salads (yeah, yeah, and some kinda soy thing too, you're such a pain in the ass), and then we'd get thirsty and realize we were out of beer, see, here's the genius -- we'd flip the disk to the side that says 'READY TO FILL, BRO!' and brewers would wheel up their slick little beer carts and service us.
I'm a genius. Someone get to work on this, it's gonna be huge.
I wrote that in three minutes. Why does it sound so much like this?