Maybe it's just the fast talking but...
- Do any of you other Catholics start thinking, "Man, my forehead's itchy..." and reach up and scratch most of their ashes off before they realize what they're doing?
- Does how much you're "allowed" to eat vary between dioceses?
- If the diocese across the river lets me have half a sammich for lunch, can I go there?
- Beer doesn't count, right?
- Where can I get more doublebock real quick?
- I actually feel smarter without eating. If I put one of those Breathe-Right strips on my nose and start getting more oxygen, too, maybe I can solve this mortgage problem.
- Do dog biscuits count?
- I really love fish. I do. I love it like a brother. A brother that I'm going to grill up and eat with fingerling potatoes and mixed greens tonight.