Anyone checked a calendar lately?

Tip of the hat to Uncle Jack for this, but mostly to my friend Chris Lohring (the man behind The Notch line of all session beers that's doing so well in Massachusetts), who wrote this sad story of how he's decided -- against his will, and his heart -- to pull Notch BSA from his seasonal line-up (Jack wrote a good post on it that brought it to my attention, and for that, I thank him; you should too).

Briefly, Notch BSA was a harvest beer, a literal harvest beer. Here's how Chris explained it:

I released my BSA Harvest in late September [of 2011]. You know, that time of September when Fall actually begins? Something about an equinox, I think. The BSA Harvest is a result of a program where Notch prepays a Western Massachusetts farmer for that year’s barley crop as in incentive, which in turn encourages local agriculture [hence the name: Brewer Supported Agriculture]. The barley is harvested in August, malted a few weeks later [at Valley Malt in Hadley, Mass., which I mention in the Element Brewing post below], brewed in the beginning of September, and hits retail fresh on September 21st. A real harvest beer in the season we should drinking it.

Except, as Chris relates, his retailers couldn't do it. See, Fall beers come out in August, or even July. Bring a Fall harvest beer out in late September -- when you would think harvest actually comes -- and you won't find a place on the shelf -- because of the winter beers coming in shortly -- and people have already fallen into their buying pattern for the season. At least, that's the conventional wisdom among wholesalers and retailers, Chris tells us:

They claim a September release is too late for a Fall beer, as they are making room for the Winter beers that will be in any day. This is the hand retail has been dealt, and it is certainly not their fault. So, a real Fall beer, the BSA Harvest, born of the change of the seasons that yields a barley harvest, is deemed too damn late. So unfortunately, BSA Harvest will be absent later this year, as it was killed off by the rush to shift units...

Is Chris just crying? Wouldn't you think that in the pervading atmosphere where the favorite flavor of craft beer is NEW, a new beer on the shelf in September that promised real Harvest character/story would work? Wouldn't you think actually releasing an Oktoberfest in mid-September would work? After all, I keep hearing from brewers that their seasonals run out before the season's over! And here comes 'Tardy Brewing Company's True Oktoberfest' in September, with its label proclaiming "Never Released Till We Hear The Oompah!" and you'd think that would kill, right?

Probably not. What's driving the craft market today is, increasingly, what's always driven the beer market: volume. Blue Moon is over 3 million barrels (and apparently accelerating), and whether we (or the Brewers Association) call Blue Moon a craft beer or not is pretty much immaterial: that's how the people who are selling it and drinking it think of it, and that's how the people who sell it...sell it. Likewise, when Samuel Adams seasonals come out, and when the major regional brewers' seasonals come out, that's the bulge that moves the snake.

And...wholesalers, after a short flirtation hustling smaller crafts and working hard at building brands, see that they can make volume and better margins selling the big craft brands, and it's less work. So if Samuel Adams Summer seasonals come out in April, that's what's shaping wholesalers' views of how the market is supposed to work, which in turn shapes the retailers' reactions...once the brewers have been encouraged to get their seasonals out earlier. Because then the wholesalers don't have to worry about getting the Oktoberfest all sold before November 1st.

I may be overreacting here, but there's a possibility that this is another early sign of things going back to the way they were: less choice instead of more in the beer market. ("Another" sign, you ask? The consolidation of craft brewers is one: the Magic Hat/Pyramid/North American Breweries roll-up, Goose Island, Old Dominion, Widmer/Redhook/Kona.) If wholesalers start to focus on the big craft brands, that's how things are going to go.

What to do? It's up to us, and Chris sums it up nicely:

What to do as a consumer? It is really quite simple. Stop buying beer out of season, and stop encouraging the trend. You may start to see more beers that make sense in the season. Or during today’s snow storm, sit back and enjoy that Summer Beer that was released just last week.

Is that realistic? Is it likely? No, not at all. Just remember: none of this was realistic or likely 20 years ago. Sam Adams was all contract-brewed. Over half the American breweries now in business didn't exist. You could stand on the stairs and see Harpoon's entire operation. Ten taps of microbrews at a bar was amazing news (because we didn't even call it 'craft beer' yet). There were no mass beer-rating websites. Yuengling had not done any expansion and was just barely known outside of eastern Pennsylvania. Most people had no idea what a seasonal beer was!

But the people who love beer made it happen and I'm assuming we still want it done right. If we have to shame craft brewers into this, if we have to make fun of them, if we have to appeal to their sense of tradition and call them out when they ignore it -- that's how this is supposed to work! The brewers, the passionate ones, are supposed to be running this, not the marketers and sellers of the stuff, and it's supposed to be run for us, the people who love the beer, the people who know when the hell summer and fall begin. 

Jack had a pretty pithy statement as well (He did warn us he was going to get more curmudgeonly this year):

For those of you who just want the next over-hopped, high alcohol, unbalanced mutation of a real IPA, none of this matters, of course. You gave up on beer a long time ago.

Are you one of those people who think Oktoberfest in August is ridiculous (especially when they all run out by October 1st)? Do summer beers in the snow piss you off? If you think that pumpkin beers should wait till September, if you think Maibock is for May, if you think winter beers shouldn't come out before mid-November at the earliest...say something. Tell your brewers, tell your stores. And tell your friends.

"Wife Beater" On Wikipedia?

You may or may not know that the ABIB/InBud-brewed Stella Artois is colloquially known as "Wife Beater" in the UK. Or at least, it was for a while...and now will be again, thanks to the publicity for that embarrassing monicker generated by a hired PR company's clumsy attempts to expunge it. Sure, it's true: read about the original story here in The Independent, and then read the just-drinks.com story here on how InBud defends their actions in hiring Portland Communications to scrub the term "Wife Beater" from the Stella Artois entry on Wikipedia.




(Why "Wife Beater?" Depends on who you ask. There's the "Stella!" line from A Streetcar Named Desire, bellowed by the abusive Stanley Kowalski, but others will tell you that it's because the beer appeals to the kind of yob that would beat his wife, or that the beer's drinkers would be the kind to walk about in the strapped undershirts colloquially called "wife beaters." (Note that Brando's wearing a regular t-shirt in the clip.) I favor the first; fits too well, and the others just sound like snobbery to me.)

I don't care that some intellectually-aware beer drinkers tagged Stella with the name "Wife Beater." Well, I do, a bit; it does wink and giggle at domestic abuse to some extent, and that's bullshit. But as a writer, and a reader, and an independent thinker, I care a lot about this kind of paid clean-up activity on the Internet. It's the greatest strength and weakness of Wikipedia; anyone can edit it, and that leaves it open to abuse...except it's not happening here. The editors caught the changes, and reinstated the references.

Why did Portland think they could do this, and why did InBud believe them? Well, sit down, because someone's got to tell you: it's because they still think you're a bunch of chumps. It's because some marketers still look at us as cattle, as blind sheep, and they don't try to influence you, they set out to manipulate you. There is a difference, and there are ethical, good-minded marketers who look to influence your decisions without insulting you. Portland Communications are not such marketers, and apparently, InBud doesn't hire that kind, either.

Friends from Europe have been telling me for years -- years! -- that InterBrew, then InBev, and now ABIB is a company that's bad for the industry, that they indulged in bad business practices, that they killed breweries, that everything they touched turned to crap. I resisted. Stella, for what it's worth, still tastes decent when it's a fresh draft, and that's my touchstone: what's in the glass? I just repeated that to folks at Bocktown Monaca who had come out to see me last Tuesday: I don't care who's making it -- as long as they're not using child or convict labor -- I care about how it tastes.

But this...leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Bud Light Platinum -- and I thought Miller Clear was dopey

It's like Bud Light doing a pole dance...

Go read this, and come back. We need to talk.

All up to speed? Okay. The quote that stands out there (other than "higher-alcoholic beer," what the hell, fella, was there something too tame (and accurate) about "higher-alcohol"?) for me is this one: "Bud Light Platinum is a trendy blue-bottle line extension that appeals to a key group of beer drinkers and expands consumer occasions.”

WTF?

• Blue bottles are trendy?
• Blue bottles are a type of beer?
• Blue bottles appeal to a key group of beer drinkers? WHO?

You guys should know by now that I don't slap AB around just for fun, but this idea's got "cognitive disaster" stamped all over it. A 137 calorie "light beer" with 6% ABV? Right, pound these like 4.2% 105 calorie Bud Light (because it does say BUD LIGHT right on it), and you'll be knee-walking -- knee-walking and fat -- in no time.

I'm seeing a lot of people -- beer geeks -- saying this is a shot at the craft market. I'm sorry: you're stoned. You guys think everything is about craft beer: it's not. Craft beer is still under 6% of the market. It's growing, it's profitable, and you've got Dark Lord in your cellar, but 7 out of 8 beer drinkers are still pounding mainstream suds, okay?

What we have here is yet another attempt to get people to pay more for light beer. I'm not sure how making "Bud Light" stronger than Bud (at 5.0%) and only 8 calories "lighter" per 12 oz. can is gonna do that, but that's what they're doing. It's crazy, and it's going to fail. Everyone in the media knows it's going to fail, you know it's going to fail. This is going to be another Bud Select, a big fat expensive FAIL. Why are they doing this? Did all the smart people quit or get laid off?

Ah, well. Sit back and watch the follies.

An addition that was too good to pass up. Convenience Store News notes in their story on Bud Light Platinum that it "...has the chance to be a trailblazer in the light beer market. Most beers in that category deliver fewer calories and carbohydrates than standard beers, while providing a lower alcohol content." Oh, CSN, if I didn't know better, I'd think you having some fun with these guys! 

Tip to you, mixologists: the backlash has arrived

Saw two things today that lead me to believe that the inevitable brute-stupid journalistic backlash against the cocktail revival has begun. First, this sidebar of duh-obvious "you cocktail drinkers think you're so smart" horseshit in PhillyMag's best bars cover story.

...in this Lillet-and-Aperol-soaked age, it seems we’ve forgotten the delight of drinking simple cocktails. Of drinking the way our grandparents drank. Grandpa wouldn’t just have looked down on the lavender-hued Aviation, with its whiff of Granny’s soap. He would have done so only after smashing it on the ground in a profanity-laden tirade. Too fussy. Too frilly. Now bring me a CC and soda, kid, and don’t skimp on the pour.

Nice. Grandpa the barbarian.Whatsamatter, buddy, bartender cut you off after one too many Ketel and tonics?

Second, I saw the Michael Imperioli 1800 tequila ad in Wine Spectator. You know the ads: douchey-looking guy in an expensive plain black suit, white shirt, skinny black tie, with a glass of 1800, and the caption "DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO SEE THE COCKTAIL MENU?" No, you look like I'm going to be calling you a cab in about five more shots, actually.

Sigh. Why do we have to kill everything when we're done with it? Why do we have to race off to the next thing, or cling to the old thing? Cocktails are good. Sure, we got carried away, but there's some good in the carried-away part, too. If you can't appreciate a properly made Manhattan, or a French 75, or a Sazerac, and would rather have a shot of tequila, or a CC and soda...what da hell, buster? Go drink that, but don't convince yourself that you're "right" by crap-bombing something good.

No, we get all caught up in the nastiness of it all, and we can't just enjoy something else. So we tell each other that's so over, and done, and how could anyone be dumb enough to like that. You know what? That's what people told me about non-mainstream beer back in the 1990s. That's what they told me about Scotch in the 1980s. That's what they told me about steak, for Christ's sake, in the 1990s! Idiots. You don't want what I'm drinking, fine. Drink something else. But it's like gay marriage: how's it hurting you?

Lose the attitude. Grow beyond having to piss on someone else's parade to make yours convincing. Walk away from people like that. And let's all have a drink...whatever you want.

Kid Rock American Badass Beer may be in trouble

Oh, Kid Rock, Kid Rock...your beer house may be built on shifting sands.

One alcoholic-beverage company has made celebrity-oriented drinks the focus of its business model. Drinks Americas Holdings Ltd., Wilton, Conn., has signed joint ventures or other agreements with such celebrities as musicians Dr. Dre and Kid Rock and real-estate magnate and TV personality Donald Trump. Trump Super Premium Vodka, in which Mr. Trump has a 50% stake, sells for about $35 a bottle.

But Drinks Americas, created in 2002, has struggled. In an SEC filing Monday, it said it faces a shortage of working capital and may be unable to continue operations without additional financing. The company posted a $3.5 million loss for the six months ended Oct. 31.

Wonder if Kid Rock knows the meaning of schadenfreude?

Kid Rock's American Badass Beer!

Hey, Kid Rock's beer not only has a name now -- American Badass Beer -- it's even got a "website preloader" page. Wow! A preloader! (?)

American Badass has been out since July. It's in Michigan, and will roll out nationally over the next 12 months. Has anyone seen it?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Look, no slant on Michigan Brewing, which is doing the contract brewing for Kid Rock; more power to them, and after all, they get paid on the loading dock, so they're not going to be taking the bath along with him. And read this description:

Crisp, refreshing and smooth as a traditional lager can be. Delivers a nice hit of carbonation at first and finishes with a slight citrus note. This is a highly approachable beer that delivers a bright lager flavor without even a hint of aftertaste. Cascade hops light up the aroma while balancing the brew. Brewed for maximum appeal and slamability. Midwestern malted barley and hard, red winter wheat from Michigan, transform water from the Saginaw Aquifer into a beer that's a true American lager and truly Badass.

Doesn't sound like they went totally sell-out, right? Okay, "slamability" is out there, but I think I may have praised slamability once or twice myself.

But...someone's going to lose their shirt. Projects like this have a very, very bad track record. (Speaking of which...Donnie, Donnie, Donnie...) Only one I can think of working is Land Shark Lager, and it's not tied as strongly to Jimmy Buffett as this is to Kid Rock; and, of course, Land Shark is ABIB, who have a pretty damned good idea of how these things work, and the deep pockets to sustain them.

I'll be watching for this stuff at a bar near me.

BOHICA: higher booze taxes in Illinois, North Carolina tomorrow

After booze tax increases in New York and Massachusetts, now it's time for moderate-drinking residents of Illinois and North Carolina to celebrate being taxed more than their fellow citizens just because they like having a cocktail before dinner or a beer with the game. Taxes go up tomorrow in both states. I can only assume that New Dry organizations in the states and in the national hives (Marin, PIRE, yeah, I'm talking about you) are dancing with glee as short-sighted state governments pile on the pain by raising taxes during a recession.

I mean...a lot of these states have balanced-budget amendments. But it appears that to almost every legislator and governor, those requirements mean nothing about keeping spending in check; no, they're about a need to raise taxes. Sin taxes. Regressive taxes. I know the cries: "It's only a nickel!" (It never is: either it's a producer tax that ripples and expands, or it's a direct tax that's more by the time it gets to someone drinking good stuff) "Drinking is a luxury!" (So's candy, but there's no special tax on that. (Actually, there is: Illinois taxed that, too; see comments, below) Okay, pets are a luxury, and there's no tax on them!) "Drinking costs billions!" (Really? Check your figures. The whole booze biz also puts billions back into the economy.) "Drinking is a sin!" (Who let him in? I thought we got rid of you back in 1933. Anyway, your mom's a sin, but we don't tax her.)

Here's a cry for you: booze taxes unfairly tax lower-income citizens. Is that the kind of thing you want to do during the worst recession in decades? Way to go, Mr. Progressive.

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania has apparently dodged the bullet again, if Governor Rendell's latest lame joke is any indicator.

"The media's low-paid and high consumers." - Gov. Rendell, joking in a Harrisburg news conference this week about the state budget and the politics that determined that an increase in beer taxes would not find support.

Oregon Whinemakers flail ineffectively at beer drinkers

Uncle Jack beat me to it on blogging about Rick Nichols's very nice piece on craft beer on page 1 of today's Inquirer. That's right: Craft Beer On The Front Page of Philly's major daily. Very nice, and as Jack sez, nice piece, too.

So all I could do was blog about the pathetic closer: Oregon's winemakers are "fighting back" against beer's success. I'd already chased this story down earlier in the week and then run out of time to blog about it before leaving for Kentucky (I was writing that pumpkin beer story I mentioned on Facebook), and I'm glad Nichols and Jack both brought it up. It's too good to waste.

Here's the piece. First off, sorry, but...it's not that well-written. It jumps all over the place, and never really develops a groove. And then we get stuff like this:

At the bar, men outnumber women 5-to-1. And men, on average, say they prefer beer to wine, according to a Gallup poll last year. Other statistics show 70-percent of wine buyers are women. So, while the atmosphere at the brewery is pretty relaxed, there’s actually a spirited battle for customers going on here.
Ted Farthing: “We’re all fighting for share of stomach.” Ted Farthing is the executive director of the Oregon Wine Board. He says wine and beer and liquor are all competing against each other, for our limited beverage budgets.

The atmosphere at what brewery is pretty relaxed? And what spirited battle for customers is going on? I'm going to believe Ted Farthing, the wine guy, that beer and wine are "fighting"? The beer drinkers and brewers they quote in the article don't seem to be aware of the "fight" at all. The one brewer they talked to was, to be fair, pretty relaxed (though that was 6 'graphs after the 'atmo at the brewery' line): "It’s cool for guys to sit around and drink a bottle of wine," said the co-owner at Cascade Lakes Brewing. Pretty big of him, almost magnanimous.

From where I'm sitting, there's no fight. In fact, it looks like Oregon winemakers are shooting themselves in the foot with the dumb gun. Check this out:

For instance, Ted Farthing with the Oregon Wine Board [really, they say the whole thing again, just in case you forgot who he was] says Oregon’s wines are on average more expensive and more refined than other states. Ted Farthing [of the Oregon Wine Board Farthings]: “Given the shifting landscape, the Oregon Wine Board has actually narrowed our target to make sure we are still speaking to the people who are purchasing wines over $15 or $20 at least once a month, and this is only about 3 percent of the U.S. population.”

Is Ted Farthing with the Oregon Wine Board aware that the only sector of the booze market that's down MORE than wines over $20 a bottle is champagne? And they want to narrow their target to make sure they're only speaking to the people who are still buying those wines?

But don't worry. They've got a plan.

That’s not to say that Farthing [is that Ted Farthing with the Oregon Wine Board?] isn’t looking at new markets. In addition to men, he says winemakers in the state need to target millennial [sic]. One way to do that is to embrace the digital age – the Oregon Wine Board has already launched several Facebook groups to convince 21-to-30 year-olds that wine can be cool.

Cool? Hey, kids -- boy kids -- wine is cool! A brewer said so...

Guess we know why craft beer is on the front page. I was just telling someone yesterday that there is more coverage of craft beer than wine in the Philly media lately. Between dopey winemakers and the absolutely brain-damaged PLCB, it's not a wonder.

Hey, Mister Kiely: which of your kids do you like best? Huh? Which one?

Interesting piece in Crain's Chicago Business this week on the struggle MillerCoors boss Leo Kiely is facing. There are a number of components, but the key factor, the big Wahooni, is this: how do you grow both Miller Lite and Coors Light, two beers that are obviously in direct competition with each other...and with the best-selling beer in America, Bud Light. How do you put together a business plan that keeps Coors Light chugging along (the brand grew 6% in the last 12 months, very impressive indeed) and also lights a fire of focus under the flailing Miller Lite (down 4% over the same period)?

This is exactly what I was talking about almost two years ago when I called an impending MillerCoors merger a shotgun wedding. This was a merger that simply had to take place; when you're at this level in a highly consolidated business -- as mainstream brewing certainly is -- the only way to survive is to be the biggest sumbitch in the jungle. SABMiller and Molson Coors weren't big enough alone -- amazing, but true -- to take on A-B, let alone the ABIB juggernaut that was starting to look ever more real at that point. They had to merge to have a hope of winning.

And that's the sad thing about what this business has become. It's not enough to do well any more. It's about the guys at the top winning. It's about the shareholders getting a big pay-out (and taking the money and buying more stocks in hope of hitting the jackpot again when some company gets gutted). The best thing I see about the current deep recession is that these damnable masters of the universe are no longer celebrities. I hope it lasts, and we make much of people who create something other than marketing campaigns and buy-out deals.

Eerie Rise in College-age Drinking Deaths

This just out:

"Using figures from government databases and national surveys on alcohol use, researchers at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) found that drinking-related accidental deaths among 18- to 24-year-old students have been creeping upward -- from 1,440 in 1998 to 1,825 in 2005."

Before you shriek in horror, consider this truly frightening fact: 1,825 deaths is exactly five a day. What are the odds? Probably exactly the same that the number given for 1998, 1,440 deaths, is exactly one hundred and twenty a month.

Someone needs to say it, and I will: The NIAAA's Ralph Hingson* is pulling these numbers right out of his ass. College drinking deaths are an excruciatingly painful loss -- as the parent of two teenagers, it's starting to prey on my mind -- but this kind of ridiculous exaggeration is an offensive travesty. Take a look at this fact-based perspective on the issue.




* Heard of this guy? Here's some info from Behind the Neo-Prohibition Campaign: The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, by Dan Mindus, an analyst at the Center for Consumer Freedom**

Boston University sociologist Ralph Hingson runs the RWJF-funded “Join Together Online” program, which serves as a clearinghouse of information for the anti-alcohol movement. He is also one of the most careless--and frequently cited— researchers around. Hingson produced a study declaring that a national .08 BAC law would save “500 to 600 lives a year.” But to come up with that number, Hingson went cherry-picking, carefully selecting only certain .08 states so that the results would align with his prejudices. Perhaps the most highly respected auditor in the world, the GAO, calls Hingson’s study “unfounded.” Nevertheless, it is still cited by MADD and other neo-prohibitionist groups.
• In 2002, Hingson authored a headline-grabbing study that blamed alcohol for 1,400 fatalities among college students each year. Aside from stretching the definition of “alcohol-related fatality” to ridiculous lengths, Hingson did no research whatsoever with college students. Instead, he simply took statistics about alcohol-related fatalities among 18 to 24 year-olds and multiplied by their percentage of the general population. Unfortunately, this blunder didn’t stop The New York Times from beginning its coverage by reporting: “On an average day, according to a new study, four college students die in accidents involving alcohol.”

**Who are hardly lily-white themselves...though please note that this source, "Sourcewatch," practically gives the ridiculously anti-alcohol-biased Robert Wood Johnson Foundation a free pass...so I question their impartiality, as should you. Far as that goes, you should question mine. Hell, I do.

What if they had some Beer Wars...and nobody came?

The Beer Wars movie has been a huge buzz in the beer blogs for the past two months. A documentary about the big vs. little brewers, a must-see, down with the barriers, Sam Calagione and Greg Koch!

I declined to get involved. One, I thought the price of $15 for a one-night showing was ridiculous, particularly given that there were relatively few details forthcoming on the movie. Two, I was actually paying attention over the last 15 years. Which led directly to Three, the movie's topic seemed to be about eight years or more behind the times. There was nothing to write that wouldn't be pure speculation, which would only fuel a frenzy that already looked manufactured. So I skipped it. Didn't write, didn't go.

After reading Harry Schuhmacher's post about the movie, I don't feel a need to write anything further. Go read it. As he points out, other beer bloggers -- "(Andy and Jay and Stan and Maureen, for example, who are among the most respected beer bloggers out there)" -- have already talked about it, and their opinions are good ones; I found myself nodding in agreement as I read them. But Harry's... Harry's read like my own thoughts.

Give peace a chance.

No action at the Iron Abbey?

(Update: see below)

Since it's such a nice day, I thought I'd follow up last night's visit to the new bar in Newtown with a jaunt over to the new Iron Abbey in Horsham. I put the dogs out in the backyard and drove off. But the doors at Iron Abbey were locked, no one answered the phone, and there was no life at the steakhouse, either. Anyone know what's going on here? Are they not open for lunch, despite what their website says? Kinda pissed about having traveled over there for nothing...

Screw it. I'm going to open that new bottle of Laphroaig.

1st update: It does sound like they're not open till 4 PM. Guys...how hard is it to fix a website? You know, I just fixed this one in 40 seconds.

2nd update: I just got an e-mail from owner Rui Lucas. He apologized for the inconvenience, rather graciously. They are on reduced hours till May 1: 5 PM to 2 AM. On May 1, they will go to the full hours, opening at 11 AM thru the week.

Session Beer, Extreme Beer: there's no "versus," how about "and"?

There are two odd pieces of writing out in the beer press right now. Sam Calagione wrote a response to my last "Steaming Pile" column in Ale Street News, the column in which I opined that 'imperial' beers, while riding high, may be coming to the end of their cycle on top of the beer hype wheel. In Beeradvocate magazine, the Alström brothers' "Beer Smack" column was titled "Session vs. Extreme Beers."

In both pieces, the desire and nascent movement to popularize session beers was portrayed as being planned at the expense of extreme/imperial beers, implying a wish and a hope for failure of big beers. To make things short and clear, that's ridiculous. There is no versus in the equation. I don't speak for everyone, obviously, but speaking for myself and nearly everyone I've talked to about session beers, we'd love to see all types of craft beers thrive. I can't imagine why anyone would feel differently. This is not about taking away anything. This is about the classic image of the craft beer market: not a bigger slice of the pie, but a bigger pie.

The last thing we need is a trumped-up "fight" between segments of the beer biz. We had enough of that with the Sam Adams wars in the 1990s. There's nothing to fight about here. I'd like to see session beers get more attention from the beer press, and from beer drinkers, and from brewers. I'm doing what I can to help that along because I'd like more choice when I go out to drink. I'm not doing it to bash extreme beers, to benefit one brewer over another, or to make money for myself; believe me, The Session Beer Project ain't a moneymaker. Like Rodney says, can we all get along? There's no reason to make it look any other way.

Can I get some technical help?

There's a blog out there called Doc's Tavern that is copying beer blog posts (mine, The Beer Philosopher, and Musings Over A Pint, among others) in entirety and posting them without attribution, credit, or linkage. Can someone more technically adept than me find out who's hosting the site and find an address where I can send a Takedown Notice? At this point, all I have is an e-mail address (abuse@websitewelcome.com), and I have to get an address to send a paper copy (or a FAX number).

I know some of you know this InterWeb stuff; can you give me a hand? Thanks!

Okay! Thanks, I've got what I need. Time to take care of business.

Legal torpedo deployed. We'll see what happens.

Got a response from the web host telling me to change the format of my complaint. Okay, doing that. (When I find out what works, I'm telling everyone.)

Heh. Sweet.

Maxim on Beer: shocking

Big story of the day: Maxim published something dumb about beer, and the guys on BeerAdvocate are pissed.

Guys...this is like El Niño. Every year the major men's magazines write something about craft beer. It is almost always stupid, and some are dumber than others. This is a dumb one. This ain't news, and it's not worth getting waxed up about. Craft continues to do well. We're winning. We can relax.

Consider it a public service

I really don't have much else to add to this. Except to mention the name: Cave Creek Chili Beer. In case you were Googling it to see what people think of it. I think you have your answer.

Not feeling well

Not looking for sympathy, but just to let you know not to expect many postings for a while...I feel like crap. Woke up Sunday with a wicked sore throat, woke up this morning with a galloping head cold. Wheezy, tired, and hot. Hell, I might have the flu. In any case, I'm not drinking beer, and I can barely taste the whisky. I hate illness.

Starbucks is out of coffee

Look, you know I'm not liking Wawa Coffee, right? Okay, so Wednesday I'm picking up Nora after school, and it's kinda windy and cloudy and raining, and I'm zoning a bit after a rough night of insomnia. So I look for a Dunkin to get a shot of caffeine; none around. Okay, I'm going to settle for Starbucks -- not a huge Starbucks fan, I'm one of those who think they over-roast, but I need the buzz.

So I fight the traffic and make a left turn into the not-too-conveniently placed Starbucks, park, and wait...and wait, while the two baaarrrriiissstttaaassss stumble through making iced tea and wrapping scones. But I'm thinking, I just want a large coffee, can't be too hard.

"Could I get the Ethiopian, please, large?"

"Oh, no, we're out of that. I should have erased it."

"Okay, just a large Pike Place."

And she goes to pour it and...Starbucks is out of coffee. No one in the place, and she only comes up with half a large. Starbucks is out of coffee. And then she offers to "make it an Americano for you?" You mean, top up a half cup of coffee with hot water, and then charge me more for it? She gets the stare. She tries again.

"I could make a fresh pot, just a few minutes. Four minutes."

Screw it. I went to Wawa...but I looked at the ranks of half-empty, reeking pots...and I got a Diet Pepsi.

What the hell does it take to get a cup of coffee that doesn't taste like tar, or stale grain, or brown water in the damned 'burbs? Is anyone listening?

Wawa: Coffeetopia? Not Bloody Likely

I like Wawa stores, for convenience stores. They make their hoagies fresh if you want them (or you can grab a pre-made and go), they have my bank as their ATM provider (so no $2 service fees), they have a wide selection of stuff.

But as my man David Lo Pan sez, "Now, this really pisses me off to no end!" Wawa is running a promotion on their coffee right now (they promote their coffee a lot), calling themselves Coffeetopia (you can see it in the picture if you click on it to blow it up). And I'd like to know just how a freakin' place can call themselves Coffee-effin-topia when they're busily burning the shit out of their coffee, 24/7!

Coffee abuse pisses me off (to no end, as I mentioned). And this, well, I've seen Wawa employees combining pots of steaming black tar, making sure not a drop of nasty, black-burnt, acidic gleet gets wasted. The smell is an irritant, the taste is hideous. Though, of course, in this light-beer-drinking nation, we continue to buy it, because it does get you buzzed. Yeesh.

So my challenge to Wawa: would it kill you to dump the Bunn warmers and get some thermal carafes? For shit's sake, Sunoco gas stations have thermal carafes, and you're so much better than that. I've had an occasional fresh pot, right off the maker, at Wawa, and the coffee's fine, but once it's had The Treatment, I wouldn't kill slugs with it (because it would be cruel to the slugs, not because it wouldn't do an excellent job).

I know what you're thinking. Wawa probably sells a ton of coffee, and to tell the truth, it's because they get almost everything else right: size of cup, price, ease of self-service and plenty of real dairy options for white stuff, even more than one kind of coffee on at a time (though you can't really tell because it's burnt to hell). It's not La Colombe, but hell, Memphis Taproom ain't La Bec Fin either, and it's still damned good, it's perfect for what it is. So you're thinking, why on earth should we fix something that sure-hell don't seem to be broke?

Well, buhbie, it's because you tagged it as Coffeetopia, and you should have the decency to make it so. Thermal carafes are the way to go, and your sales will reflect it. Find a carafe that dispenses coffee fast (because that's the one thing the Bunn system has going for it; fast pours), buy a bunch of them, and put them in one store to see how it goes (I would humbly submit the 2250 Lincoln Highway location in Trevose...). Bet you get better sales, and a lot of compliments. Because that, Wawa-volk, would be Coffeetopia.

Oh, yeah. One more thing. Would it be too much to ask you to start selling diesel?