Miley Cyrus a Victory fan?

"Another Uncle Teddy, by Jove!"

Recognize this line?

"So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

It may look like a smudge; it's a tattoo.

That's right: it's part of the Teddy Roosevelt quote from "The Man in the Arena" prominently displayed at Victory Brewing. And now? It's prominently displayed on Miley Cyrus's left arm. Really. And before you give me crap for reading the Inky's "SideShow" gossip column, let me remind you that there are times when you're so bored in a waiting area that you'll read everything in the paper; and that I was, at least, reading the paper; and that you never know what you'll find. Like this unexpected common affinity between Miley Cyrus and Bill Covaleski, for instance.

A Pretty Good Night

This video premiered last night at the Philly Beer Scene Best of Philly awards show at World Cafe Live, and while it wasn't the highlight of the night, it was an amusing moment. Almost as good as the line about a homebrew being so funky that Sam Calagione called for the recipe, or William Reed's Carol Stoudt impersonation.

Joe Gunn: a touch sarcastic

First, about the show: fantastic. Mat "Red Shoes" Falco put together an incredible thing, a fun in-crowd show that had a great back-up band in Swift Technique, an excellent venue (with great beer, as always -- I drank a lot of Nodding Head Grog and Ric Hoffman's IPA from Stewart's, with a tasty glass of Forest and Main IPA thrown in for fun), and an indefatigable machine of an MC, Jose Pistola's own Mighty Joe Gunn, who didn't really keep things moving...but he did keep them pretty damned fun.

No, really, it's not Carol Stoudt!

Awards? They were presented by a full spectrum of the folks from Philadelphia's beer scene (appropriately, right?), from brewers to bar owners to wholesalers to distributors to homebrewers, and even beer writers, and that was a lot of fun too; sometimes intentionally. I haven't found a full list yet, but...here's what I remember, and it's not necessarily in order, because things didn't completely correspond to the list I was given. I'll flesh this out later. (Actually, Uncle Jack did, with a complete list that includes awards that weren't even mentioned last night...lookie here.)

Carolyn Smagalski & Mat: Red Shoes!

• Best Brewery Rep: Weyerbacher's Mike Lubieski
• Best Distributor in the City: Bella Vista
• Best Local Lager: Victory Prima Pils
• Best Local Belgian-style Beer: Weyerbacher Merry Monks
• Best Bottle Shop in the City: Craft Beer Outlet
• Wholesaler of the Year: Origlio
• The Philly Tap Finder award for the Most Searched For Beer of the Year: Tröegs Nugget Nectar
• Best Homebrew Shop: Keystone Homebrew
• Best European Beer Bar: Monk's Cafe
• Best Local Stout/Porter: Victory Storm King
• Best Local Barrel-Aged Beer: Weyerbacher Insanity
• Best Local Pale Ale/IPA: Yards Philly Pale
• Best Brewpub: Iron Hill
• Best New Bar in the City: Barcade
• Best Bar in the Burbs: Hulmeville Inn
• Best Brewery: Victory Brewing

The Weyerbacher Love Crew (Colin Presby w/the award for Best Barrel-aged Beer)

Uncle Jack Curtin and I got to present the final award, for Brewmaster of the Year, and I have to admit, by that time, we were all dragging a bit. So it was a good thing that they ran that Tröegs video (which is, of course, about the event Jack and I are doing at Standard Tap on June 3rd), which gave us a chance to sit and relax before taking the stage. We made a few weak jokes, then got right down to it: the winner was Chris Wilson of Weyerbacher, which brought the whole Weyerbacher Love Crew up on stage again, and Chris, resplendent in a white dinner jacket and green Weyerbacher t-shirt, made an acceptance speech that was pure Chris. And that...was that.

Jack announcing; I'm having a private moment w/my award.

Except for one other thing: I won Best Beer Writer of the Year, which I have to admit floored me. Because the competition has seriously stepped up around here, truth be told. From Uncle Jack's shoot-from-the-hip opinions, to Bryan Kolesar's in-depth reporting, Lisa Grimm's thoughtful considerations, Suzy Woods's personable and personal enthusiasm, and of course Don Russell's completely connected professionalism...plus Craig LaBan's great occasional beer forays in the Inky and all the local blogs, Philly's a great place to read about beer, too. Winning this award was humbling, and I want to thank all the people who voted, as well as all the fantastic people who make this such a great business.

Got some odd looks with the trophy on the way home on the train, but talking to Eddie Friedland on the way was well worth it. A good night, indeed.

All photos courtesy of Stephen "Click-click" Lyford; thanks, fella!

Bring it on, Jack me boy!

If you aren't thirsty...don't bother coming.

Uncle Jack and I were contacted by John "Latent Homebrewer" Trogner and Ed "Music Man" Yashinsky at Tröegs. 'Look,' they said, 'you guys are always snarling at each other. Why not settle it with a Scratch Beer showdown? Both of you come up to the brewery, sit down with our brewers, and we'll brew what you come up with for a head-to-head grudge match during Philly Beer Week?' Kind of like the Royal Stumble, only with just the two of us, mano a mano (the tap-working hand, that is).

So we did, and we invite you to come out to Standard Tap for the fun, 1st Sunday of Philly Beer Week, and enjoy the hell out of my Zwickel Licker, an unfiltered Dortmunder Export lager! You can get a sample taste of Jack's biere de vieux petard, too. It's all PAYG, and we'll see you there!

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day: WAKE UP, PHILLY!

Tomorrow is February 2, Groundhog Day.

If you drink beer in Philly, though...tomorrow is February 2, is Groundhog Day! That's when we start the day very very early at the Grey Lodge Pub, with the doors opening at 7 AM for the Hawaiian Shirt Beer Breakfast. There are little events all morning with Yards, Sierra Nevada, Tröegs, and Victory, culminating in the noontime beer prognostication by Wissinoming Winnie, the Grey Lodge's Lucky Cat. 

Hey, I know, but like Scoats says, 

The Groundhog Day Hawaiian Shirt Beer Breakfast and Lucky Cat Beer Prognostication is probably the stupitest event that we do at The Grey Lodge, and we set the bar on stupit pretty high (or should that be low?), so don't miss it. 

Right? See you there!

I Just Had a Great Idea!

I just had the best idea for a beer festival! You know how it usually goes, right, the brewers get (okay, buy) tables, and set up their kegs and pint glasses and such, and then we buy tickets and wander around from table to table, drinking beers, which is pretty sweet, really, except there's always some dipshit who didn't read the damned memo and when they get their beer they just keep standing there in front of the table gassing with their buddies about what boring crap they've been doing in their boring stupid lives when they should be getting the hell out of the way so we can get beers, and there's a line for the bathroom, and the brewer runs out of the super-great beer just before you get there, and the hot chicks behind the table don't like you (don't like you, I mean, I don't ever have that problem because I'm old and harmless), and the band's too loud, but otherwise...it's pretty sweet, right?

But wait, but wait, but wait -- here's my great idea! Instead of tickets, WE buy a table! And we get comfy there, and we could decorate it, and bring our own chairs, and a sound system so we don't have to listen to the damned stupid band, and food we want to eat instead of more hot dogs, and have a quick getaway to the bathroom out the back, and lots of fun party stuff -- and here's the cool part -- and the brewers (or hot chicks they hire (okay, or hot-bod guys, too, for you cool womens who like good beer)) wander around and bring us beers!

They could have their kegs on like a hot-dog cart, only it would be a cold-beer cart, and they'd say, hey, man, want some of my excellent beers, and we'd say, dude, whatta you have there? and they'd say, Double IPA and Imperial Barleywine, bitch! and we'd say, yeah, fill 'er up! And then they'd fill us up and get away from the front of our damn table because brewers always read the damned memo and we'd flip our Brazilian steakhouse disk-thing to 'Full right now, come back a little later, brewer' and drink our beers and chill and love it, and eat steaks and crabcakes and salads (yeah, yeah, and some kinda soy thing too, you're such a pain in the ass), and then we'd get thirsty and realize we were out of beer, see, here's the genius -- we'd flip the disk to the side that says 'READY TO FILL, BRO!' and brewers would wheel up their slick little beer carts and service us.

I'm a genius. Someone get to work on this, it's gonna be huge.

I wrote that in three minutes. Why does it sound so much like this?

I just want to hear Don Russell say it...

Newly added to Logan Circle...

The 2011 Philadelphia Flower Show -- "Springtime in Paris."

The 2011 Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts -- "Paris 1910 - 1920."

The Holy Ghost Prep 2011 Auction -- "Soiree in Paris." 

So at this point, I'd just like to hear Philadelphia Beer Week executive director Don Russell come right out and tell us whether the theme of the 2011 Philadelphia Beer Week really is "Sippin' by the Seine."

I'm gonna hit something with Le Marteau de la Gloire if it is...


61 days to Philly Beer Week opening tap! See you there!

Homebrew Mad Lib

I've been cleaning up the desk in prep for this weekend's big party, and came across this homemade homebrewing Mad Lib we came up with a few years ago. I present it just for fun. You know how to do this, right? You copy and paste it into Word or Notepad or whatever, then go through the text, prompting your friends -- who haven't seen the text -- to fill in the blanks only by asking them for the types of words in brackets, and then you read it. Hilarity ensues. That's the idea, anyway. Lame? Sure, and that's half the fun. 

Big Homebrewing Fun!

The National Homebrewers ___________[event] was held in ___________[city] last month, and it ___________[verb ending in 'ed'] a lot. There were ___________[number] contestants, who brewed a total of ___________[number] beers, most of which were ___________[adjective].

The judges ___________[adverb] disqualified most of the beers, saying they were either too ___________[adjective] or not ___________[adjective] enough. The brewers of the disqualified beers said the judges were all too ___________[adjective].

The 2nd place beer, a ___________[beer style], made the judges ___________[verb] with pleasure. The liked the ___________[color] color, the rich aroma of ___________[noun], and the complex flavors of ___________[noun], ___________[noun], and ___________[noun]. Two judges said the beer really deserved to ___________[verb].

But they all agreed that the 1st place beer was a ___________[noun]. "It really ___________[verb ending in 's']!" one judge ___________[verb ending in 'ed']. It was a ___________[adjective, size] beer, with ___________[number] IBU and a massive ___________[number] percent alcohol. "It tastes better than ___________[plural noun]," said the head judge. 

The winner, ___________[first name] ___________[family name], said they had brewed the beer ___________[adverb]. "It's a ___________[adjective] recipe," they said, "and it makes ___________[number] gallons of beer for only ___________[number] dollars."

The judges drank ___________[number] more glasses of the winning beers, then went out on the town to ___________[verb] all night.

(No homebrewers were harmed in the creation of this amusement. I swear. If any homebrewers are offended by this, please feel free to substitute "Pro brewer" for "homebrewer" at any and all points. Or "giraffe," if that works for you.)

Down the other leg of the Trousers of Time

Picked this up from Uncle Jack's site,and it's everything he says it is and a bag of crisps. A goofy, cheap-video look at what happened around here in 1996: Dogfish Head, Iron Hill, Flying Fish, Yards, and Victory opened, and pressed on when other places didn't (Independence, Red Bell, Brandywine, Valley Forge, etc.). But don't for a moment think it's serious; it's not. It's goofy and fun and effin' brilliant. Fire it up, have a laugh, and be glad these guys didn't give up.

Happy Mother's Day! What did you get your mother?

Cathy was far away today, but she's on her way home now, and when she gets here, I'll greet her with this "Gin Bouquet" I made. I should have clipped more of the Eastern Red Cedar greenery for decoration, didn't realize how flat it was. There's six different gins in there, a bottle of Martini & Rossi vermouth, Rose's Lime Juice, Fentiman's Tonic, Schweppe's Tonic, limes, and pickled onions. No glassware, we've got that coming out our ears!

My mother was a bit easier. I got her a live rosemary bush (she likes herbs) and took her out for dinner: an Italian hoagie at her favorite sub shop. Mum's pretty casual.

So...what'd you get your mother -- of yourself, or of your children -- for Mother's Day? Anyone else buy them booze?

Think ahead for Mom

I'm not dead...just busy. Being busy is good, it means I'm making money (or doing interesting things), and that means I can keep blogging.

Meantime, a quickie. I just got a press release urging me to remind my readers that Father's Day is coming and that ties suck, so buy Dad a bottle of nice booze.

I say, Mother's Day comes in just two weeks, and doesn't she need a drink too? I know Cathy likes a good peaty Islay whisky, or a brisk New Zealand sauvignon blanc, or (her fave) a case of IPAs. It doesn't have to come from the kids; all you dads out there owe a lot to the mothers of your children. So get to a liquor store and find her something nice. Who knows, she may let you have some too!

Suck the Head

Yeah, the day after finishing Pennsylvania Breweries 4 is that kind of day. Adios, amigos!


Seriously: does anyone know where I can get more 50 ml thimble glasses like this? I want real simple ones that I can put ice cold vodka in for a zakuski party I want to do, about two dozen of them. Drop me a line; thanks!

It Must Be Great to Have Tom Wilson's Job

March 21, 2010 (tomorrow, but that's the magic of Saturday delivery of Sunday's comics):

Today, the Ziggy comic (which is the way this 'entertainment' should be referred to) makes a joke about the federal bank bailout, approximately 17 months* after it happened. Ziggy celebrated the moment by continuing to wear pants (a huge thank-you to Stephan Pastis for that).

I'm telling you; I save so much time in the morning by no longer reading Ziggy, Cathy, and Family Circus...



*(I'm sure Uncle Jack will acerbically provide the painstakingly exact date at some point; thanks, Jack!)

Obama Still the Beer President

Sorry, wine folks: President Obama is still clearly a beer guy. When he made a bet with Canadian PM Stephen Harper on the outcome of yesterday's freakin' awesome Olympic hockey final, he didn't bet a case of California grape squeezin's against a case of Ontario icewine; he bet a case of Yuengling against a case of Molson. Oh yes, he did. Not that we're rubbing it in...just noting it.

(Philadelphia Inquirer, taken by Sarah J. Glover)

By the way...

If any of you are looking for the same flurry of blogging I did the last two Januarys to get to my self-imposed goal of an average of a post a day -- and I'm pretty sure none of you are, because I have more respect for you than that, but still -- it ain't happening this year. I'm already well over the average with 387 posts since last January 31, so I can just blog normally at this point. What a relief!

Back to work...

New Poll at the PLCB Blog

The PLCB is kind of like the Bermuda Triangle of Harrisburg: things tend to ... disappear around it. Go take the poll on my other blog (Why the PLCB Should be Abolished) on which of those things you miss the most.

Does this look right?

Just a housekeeping post... Does the blog look right? It looks to me like Google/Blogger changed the line spacing and maybe tweaked things up on the fonts, too.

Or maybe I'm just losing it.

Happy birthday, Uncle Jack!

According to his own Facebook profile, today is Jack Curtin's birthday. (That's Jack on the right, in red, with the Beer Yard's Matt Guyer at -- I think -- last year's final Sly Fox IPA Project. (It was.))

Jack and I have tried to remember when we first met, and failed: it was almost certainly at Copa, Too!, but nothing's certain. That hasn't stopped us from slinging crap at each other (it's there, page down) for years with vigor and joy. It's almost all in fun, and I've dubbed him Uncle Jack and he's dubbed me "America’s Most Beloved Beer Writer (© Jack Curtin’s Liquid Diet 2009)". And when we do stuff like this on our blogs, everyone wonders why we waste our readers' time. Well...there aren't a lot of beer writers, and we're largely solitary types, so maybe we get a little odd. Live with it, and if you see Uncle Jack today, tell him how good it is to see him. He likes that.

(You just have to wonder about this guy, though; especially since his middle name appears to be Lew.)

Sex for Series tickets...and one jaw-dropping beer reference

Did anyone read Karen Heller's column in this morning's Inquirer? Heller often pisses me off one way or another: mountains out of molehills, odd reasoning, or sometimes just plain whiney. But this morning's column really caught my eye.

She was writing about the ridiculous "Sex and the Series" story, how Bensalem cops decided that public safety was threatened by a craigslist ad that read:

"DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX. Diehard Phillies fan - gorgeous tall buxom blonde - in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable - I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

The silly story of how five undercover Bensalem cops set up the sting at Manny Brown's in the Neshaminy Mall -- and actually handcuffed the woman! -- has been told in news outlets around the world, and Heller piles on; which, to be fair, these cops deserve. There was no crime here. But that's not what made me stop mid-breakfast.

It was this:

Residents of Bensalem Township might wonder if their tax dollars are being served. Finkelstein and her attorney, William J. Brennan, said five undercover cops were at Manny Brown's Bar & Grill at the Neshaminy Mall. That's where Finkelstein, a lifelong Philadelphian, met the alleged ticket seller over a beer, Founders Breakfast Stout.

See those last three words? That's mainstream, baby! I thought there was some kind of newspaper rule that the only beer ever mentioned in crime stories had to be "Yuengling." More evidence that there was no crime here, I guess. Who was drinking the Founders, Finkelstein, or the cop? My experience with Bensalem cops -- strictly through attending two lectures, I swear -- leads me to believe it was Finkelstein, but you never know.

And hats off to Manny Brown's!

I Don't Make This Up, I Just Report It

You know I like to throw in some light stuff occasionally... Here's a news item, in its entirety:

Cops: 300-lb man in dress tries to steal rum, cola

Source: AP Oct 15th SIOUX FALLS, S.D. -

Police said a person believed to be a man disguised as a woman in a black dress tried to steal a bottle of rum and cola drinks from a local drug store. The store's loss prevention officer unsuccessfully tried to stop the person, who is described as about 20 years old, 6-foot-3-inches tall and weighing 300 pounds. Police said the person handed the rum back to the store employee, threw the drinks on the ground and fled after trying to bite the employee when the worker tried to restrain him.

I can't think of anything to add.

Finally, some action at my PLCB blog, too

Yes, I have a new poll up at Why The PLCB Should Be Abolished, the blog that tries, single-handedly --wait, actually, I used both hands to type it -- to drag Pennsylvania's alcohol policy into the 20th Century (and no, that's not a typo). I took what I thought were the PLCB's five worst gaffes of the past two years -- the "courtesy training," the awarding of the contract for the courtesy training (which triggered an audit by the State AG), the "wine kiosks" (which should have triggered an audit by the State AG), the "re-branding" of the State Store System (supposedly the new name is "Table Leaf"), and the appointment of Joe "CEO" Conti to fill a brand-new $150,000 position that no one in the 75 year history of the PLCB ever saw a need for (okay, that's a little more than two years, but what the hell) -- and asked you which one pissed you off the most.

Which one of these ridiculous gaffes pissed you off the most? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being that this is the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, the second-largest buyer of booze in the world, and would tax your head clean off, you've to ask yourself one question: do I feel screwed? Well, do ya, citizen?

Don't worry. To paraphrase yet another movie quote, when you put your hand in the pile of goo that used to be your state's dignity and honor...you'll know what to do. Vote!