The Full Bar - all my pages

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Philly Beer Week: Hammered

San Francisco. New York. Syracuse. Seattle. Baltimore. Charlotte. St. Louis.

All trying to emulate our idea. All jumping on the Philly Beer Week bandwagon. All crying, "Wah! We're the best beer city!"

Look, it doesn't matter that we've got the best beer-drinking city, or that we've got more experience than you with this, or that we've got six times the number of events, or that all your brewer are belong to us. All that is just reasons. Here's the solid proof that Philly Beer Week rules.

We've got a big freakin' hammer that says so.

And if you get a hammer next year -- it only takes money, once it's been done -- you'll be sick when you see what we have then.

PBW. Remember the name.

Thanks to the fertile minds of William Reed and...well, a lot of fertile minds, but William sent Don the picture.


Anonymous said...


"all your brewer are belong to us"


I think you should stay away from the strong beer this early in the day.

Pete LaVerghetta said...

Is it too late to start training? I have to tote this thing from the GLP to somewhere in Port Fishington. By bike.

EvilchurchdOc said...

one BIG Firkin Hammer!... It had to be done.Can't wait for Friday.

The Foaming Head said...

Ummm, I guess we will just overlook the fact that you printed the NYC skyline on your passes because you wanted to be like us?

The Foaming Head said...

Hit the enter button before I finished my previous message. I was going to add a good natured "just kidding" and a "Thanks for an always enjoyable read". Without those, the first message looks pretty terrible.

TC said...

"All your brewer are belong to us" sound like the PBW slogan for the Sega Genesis set. I love it.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing, Guy!

Love that damn hammer, though! Strike while the iron is hot!

Anonymous said...

My thoughts exactly! Lew, are you an award-winning beer writer or beer drinker? :)

Lew Bryson said...

Guy --
I'll cop to the Charlottle typo, but "all your brewer are belong to us" is a video game joke: Google it.'re screwed!

FH, can't blame that on us, that was SEPTA. If they'd been on-board last year, like they shoulda/coulda been, they'd have had it ironed out by now!

Lew Bryson said...

Good God, you guys, one lousy extra letter and you're crucifying me! (Sam, you I understand, cuz you're built that way...)

But thank God for TC: at least someone got the Zero Wing reference. Somebody set us up the bomb.

Anonymous said...

OK, guess I'm just a hopeless square (and proving it by using the word "square").

It's hip to be square.


Lew Bryson said...

Nah, more like you're not a vidgeek. So...not so bad.

Anonymous said... obtuse, and me square like Guy. Ha ha ha ha!

Unknown said...

Sorry, PBW is already taken (Powedered Brewery Wash.) I do agree though: Philly Beer Week is the best out of all of them, it's a shame that I can't go this year.

John said...

Can I just say, for the record, that I love how in the little list at the top, the fifth-largest city in New York state is ahead of the largest cities of Washington, Maryland, North Carolina, and Missouri?

Sure, Philly may be the best beer city, but... who's the best beer state? Way I see it, there's only one city from Pennsylvania that would be on that list, and, well, two cities from New York are on that list.

(Yes, I realize the list is just a random order of random cities with beer weeks, it was a joke. :p Truthfully, I can't express how excited I am that I'll be at Philly Beer Week this year!)

Jeff Alworth said...


Portland, Oregon is obviously the country's best beer city. No real argument can be made. Your "Beer Week" example underscores the point. In a real beer city, we have no need to have a week to highlight beer. Every week's beer week in Portland.

Lew Bryson said...

You Portland guys are so funny with how defensive you are! "In a real beer city..." Yeah, in a beer city so "real" that it's where the Pabst Renaissance began. Nice one, Portland.

We all have different definitions of what "the best beer city" is, and oddly enough, they all fit our own favorite town. No real winners, except we all get to drink great beer.

No, wait...I forgot. We have the hammer.

Jeff Alworth said...

The hammer demands respect, no doubt.

As for us Portland guys, I felt duty-bound to make the case. It's a part of our almost comically parochial culture that we demand everyone else admire us. Small towns, lacking fame and reknown that obviates the need for self-promotion, try to build up a reputation so that they don't have to make it themselves, all the while failing to see that the very act broadcasts small-time.

I know it all, and yet, it's also the thing that makes Portland such a beer town. Not only is it an amazing beer town, we really, really, really want everyone to know that, so we're always trying to make it better.

So someone had to make the requisite claim of Portland superiority. Just doin' my job.

Lew Bryson said...

Funny thing is, Jeff...Philly's the 6th largest city in the US, we're the birthplace of the country, we've got history and beauty and stuff coming out our ears... and we still feel that way. Go figger.

TC said...

John: Re: Best Beer States:

First, PA has a better claim to the title than "just Philly". The 'Burgh is an underrated beer city, I think, with both East End and Penn Brewing right there, plus Voodoo Brewery just a bit north of the city. Plus, Pennsyltucky is no beer slouch, with places like Legacy Brewing, Troegs, Stoudt's, Yuengling, and others floating out in the vast expanse between Philly and the 'Burgh.

TC said...

Oh, but the title obviously goes to California. Sheer numbers overwhelm.

Anonymous said...


Thank you..I was coming here to say the same thing. I think Pittsburgh is a massively underrated beer city that stands up well with any other in the country; can any other city except Philadelphia claim our selection of Belgian beers, as an example?

I don't doubt that a fair portion of our beer comes from "ohh, we're registered already in Philly already, so we might as well send it to Pittsburgh too since it's free", but I think a lot of those distributors have been pleasantly surprised by the results.

Now if we can just get rid of the statewide distribution contracts that I always rail so much against! (Sorry about that part, Lew...sort of a major pet peeve of mine.)

Yes, I'll agree that PA is the best beer state out there; even if there aren't as many numeric brewpubs and breweries as West Coast states, I'll take the variety we have out here.

Pete LaVerghetta said...

The HOG Carrier's Toast

Anonymous said...

I think William had the hammer made here: in Fishtown.